As Ivy’s birthday approaches I feel like I should write something meaningful about what I’ve learnt in the last year, but honestly as I sit here with hands poised over the keyboard it’s all just a blur.
The last twelve months have been amazing, difficult, hectic, challenging, joyful, wonderful and life changing. It’s all such a rush of highs and lows, emotions and changes that I find it hard to even process that we’ve been parents for A YEAR. Surely she was only born last week?
Although I don’t talk about it much on the blog (because I like to focus on the positives) this year has brought a lot of health issues for Josh and I which have challenged us as individuals and as a family. Living with day-to-day pain is frustrating, tiring and joy-sucking and it’s dominated this year making it at worst, a slog.
But then there is the joy of being a family. Of birthing a child, nourishing them from your own body and watching them grow and develop. Seeing their first smile, hearing their first laugh, receiving a first sloppy kiss. What a privilege.
I think God is teaching me at the moment that life is made up of phases.
I recently read the biblical book of Esther and the character and story of Mordecai struck a chord with me. Mordecai seems to experience a vast range of situations and emotions in a short time. He is promoted, persecuted, threatened with death and then honoured by the king (read it in full here). At the time when he was “wailing loudly and bitterly” everything seemed lost, but a little while later he was vindicated, his enemy was defeated and the streets rang with “cheers and joyful shouts”.
Our lives are so often the same. While I’m not facing persecution or death, it’s still easy to get caught up in the hard times; pain, sleepless nights, isolation or loneliness and forget that it’s just a phase. Things change and get better.
It becomes even more obvious with children. As soon as you think you have got things worked out they have a growth spurt or sleeping patterns change or they eat something new. There’s no point getting comfortable because five minutes later they will be running off in the other direction.
I guess what I’m saying is that this year has taught me to choose happiness and find joy wherever I can.
I have tried to savour every moment because things change so quickly. I want to enjoy each precious moment I have with my family, whether that be difficult or easy. I want to learn from each situation and become a better wife and mother.
I refuse to wish time away because if this year is anything to go by my little girl is going to be grown before I know it and I'll be longing for these times, hard days and all.
Linking with The Blessing Box