10.4.13

Authentic



You know when you have those perfect seasons in life? The ones where everything is going right and you wake up glad to be alive?

Yeah, well we’re not in one of those. 

Sometimes I feel like the blog portrays our life to be perfect and I want to be honest. I truly love our life but right now I could do with not being woken up at 4am every single day. Nowadays I consider it a good day if I’m out of pyjamas before noon and I manage to get out of the house without pureed food crusted into my hair or baby sick somewhere on my clothes. 

I’m not writing this as a rant. I’m trying to accept the madness of this season because I know that one day I’ll look back and cherish these days when my baby was small {or so I’m told!}. However,  in these days when I have to work hard just to keep my head above water and sleep deprivation makes us feel like we’ve been hit by a truck I worry that we’re missing the best parts of parenting; the part where we get to teach our daughter and actually enjoy it. 

When Ivy was first born we had lots of plans. We wanted to read with her, pray over her, teach her about God and the world as she grew. Do we do these things?  Yes, but not as much as I hoped. 

A future as a nun perhaps?!
When she was tiny it was easy to let things like reading and praying slip because she was too small to understand or really interact but six months has gone by in a flash and I’ve been worrying that before we know it she’ll be running around and we’ll have missed ‘training’ opportunities just because we’re so busy focussing on just getting through the day.

After praying about it I feel like God has been telling me that the best way to teach and train Ivy is simply to be authentic in my own faith and relationships. It’s all very well to read to Ivy and to teach her to pray before meals and bed but the way she’s really going to learn about Jesus is to see our friendship with him – through the good times and through the hard times too. 

Honestly, I feel like I’m doing a rubbish job in being an example of following Jesus through the hard times at the moment. I’m getting stressed more times than I’d like to admit and quiet times are sparse. I’m wallowing in lethargy and tiredness and I’m really struggling to actually care about making positive changes, but I know I need to try harder for myself and to be an example for my family. 

Each day is new; it's time to start over and I know God is teaching me through these experiences one day at a time.

What tips do you have for living an authentic life and teaching your children good habits even when life is crazy, busy and tiring? I need your help! Please leave a comment.

Linking with Better Mom Mondays, My Joy Filled Life, Mommy Moments

10 comments:

  1. I think living authentically is a challenge because we live in a world where it is dangerous to be completely open/honest/vulnerable.

    But I also know that living authentically is about being all those things with the right people and being secure in who we are in Christ.

    Rach you are a total winner - with babysick on you and everything. I heard the main guy from Compassion speak this last week and he said something that has stuck with me - what are you trying to prove with your life? And who are you trying to prove it to? We have nothing to prove to God - he has done everything and just asks us to live as best we can.

    Big love. x

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  2. I offer you BIG HUGS! I always kinda cringe when someone says "enjoy him now, because he'll be grown up and out of the house before you know it!" To that I usually say "I know, and I do." But sometimes you just feel like shutting the door on life and saying "I WANT TO SLEEP!"

    The training comes. It isn't something that happens all before she's 1. You'll find new ways to train as she grows and changes. You'll find books, or people, or songs, or classes along the way. God puts us in community so we don't have to do it all by ourselves. Jack is 4 and just now starting to memorize bible verses thanks to his church class. Not thanks to me, but his class. But that's okay! I'm glad he's getting that training, even if the thought never crossed my mind to have him memorize verses yet.

    Another thing I've noticed with Jack is that after praying every single night before bed for 4 years now, he's starting to pray on his own throughout the day. It's just something that takes time and repetition. That's the 'teaching by example' thing. Just do what you do and you'll see it mimicked in her sooner or later. (the good AND the bad!!) :)

    I hope you have a few really good nights of sleep soon. I know how hard it is to run on empty. I'll be praying for you!! :)

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  3. It is so hard! I'm going through one of those exhausted, can't-motivate-myself-to-do-anything-other-than-the-very-basics stages at the moment too. Part of that is we are sleep training Judah, but I've noticed that every couple of months I kind of have a "down" phase where my body just needs to catch up. Focus on the good times! They are what Ivy will remember! I've always thought it's better to be honest with ourselves and our children rather than to stuff down the bad stuff and try to put on a good face all the time. We try to have devotions and pray together as a family every night, but it doesn't always happen in these tired phases, and that's ok. Sometimes sleep is more needed and more restorative!

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  4. After a similar conversation with a friend recently I gave her a book called Desperate (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Desperate-Hope-Mom-Needs-Breathe/dp/1400204666/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1365668805&sr=8-3&keywords=desperate) It's written by 2 women, a mum of grown up children and a mum with small children. It expresses a lot of the worries, anxieties and general hectic lifestyle of parents with young children and offers the wisdom of someone who's been through it and come out the other side. I'm not a parent myself so can't really comment on what you're going through, but my friend has found the book really helpful and has recommended it to lots of other parents, so I'm guessing it must be good! If you email me your address (cuteasabutton82@hotmail.co.uk) I'd like to send you a copy. Laura

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  5. What I see from your blog is that you are so, so hard on yourself. It's like you have made lists of what constitutes a perfect home, and then, every day, you are wearing yourself out in trying to achieve that.
    My paretns died when I was very young. I cannot remember my mother at all. I would not care if I had had the dustiest upbringing ever. I would have wanted them just to have been there.
    The leading by example point is interesting. If all Ivy sees is you being stressed, then that is what she will absorb. Catch up on your sleep. No-one (of any merit, anyway) is going to be critical of the less-than-perfect home of a new mum.

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  6. I feel like I am in one of those crazy seasons too.. where I am grumpy so much of the time....showing you love them by having time to sit with them is what my guys like...something that tends to not happen in the busyness of life. Bring on the school holidays I say. xxx

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  7. I understand! 4am is my little guy's usual wakeup time as well - although thankfully he will go back down for a few hours after a nurse.

    And I identify with your pre-baby intentions of praying for and with your baby, lots of reading, etc. I was just discussing that with my husband the other day, how I want to be more faithful in those areas. They do grow so fast...but we're blessed to be in this season now, and thinking about what we want to do as parents and the example we want to set while our babes are still young! It can be hard, because normal, messy, every-day life does get in the way! I think that's part of this season though, and the Lord understands. Just keep inching forward...prayed for you. And you sound like a great mom :)

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  8. Praying for you and your family. Totally understand your post. We were there more than once, twice, too many to count.
    Found u on my pregnancy journal...... Take care :)

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  9. I used to feel so guilty about not praying with my child or teaching him about Jesus when he was a baby. Honestly, looking back, I wish I hadn't worried so much. He's now 2 1/2 and knows all about Jesus, prays before mealtimes, naps, and bedtime...and is learning all about God. When they are infants I really wouldn't worry too much. Motherhood is tough without all of the added guilt. You focus on YOUR relationship with God...and as baby grows, and as it feels natural, you will begin to teach her without realizing it. We found that prayer and such was much easier to implement when our child was eating regular meals at the table with us, which didn't start happening until he was about 15 months old, and even then it wasn't very routined. Just give it time.

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  10. I love your honesty in this post - because we aren't in one of those perfect seasons either! Derek is gone so much and I find myself getting worn out and impatient. Thanks for the reminder to strive to be a good example of how to follow Jesus during the rough seasons too!

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