21.3.13

Reality



The last couple of weeks have been hard work. 

Lack of sleep, un-expected bills, a teething baby, a massively busy husband who I rarely see, commitments to follow through and planning for guests are all making me feel overwhelmed.

Oh, and did I mention that we’re getting all our carpets replaced so I’ve somehow got to move all our furniture, rip up carpets and clean while juggling a grumpy baby? Ugh. 

It has made me think a lot about how I seem to be coping with things.
Many of my dreams are becoming realities, but I don’t seem to be dealing with those realities very well and that makes me feel like a complaining, grumpy fraud. 
How can I say that I want to be a mother, a vicar’s wife and a homemaker and then just freak out when the going gets tough?

Can you spot a sleeping baby?!

I know this is just a particularly busy time and I do not deal well with sleep deprivation but I don’t see the problems getting better in the future and that means I’ve got to find some sort of solution now in order to learn and grow from this new season in life.

I want to be a good parent but that means hard work and less sleep.
I want to be a good (Vicar’s) wife but that means accepting that my husband will be busy, out of the house for much of the time and that I’ll have commitments within church.
I want to have an open house and be a good friend but that means being organised with keeping in touch with people and homemaking.
I want to have other hobbies like design work, crafts, photography and blogging {because it keeps me sane} but it all takes time. 

So what do I do? 

Something has got to give but I’m not sure what yet. 



The most obvious thing is the house. People have commented on this blog before that I shouldn’t be worrying about having ‘the perfect house’, and maybe I do give the impression that I always have the dishes done and a three course meal on the table and nothing else would be acceptable to me but that really isn’t the case {as the photos prove!}.
I blog about homemaking because I’m passionate about it a) because I see it as my job and b) I like having a clean welcoming home. I don’t do it because I feel I have to do – I do it because I feel better and happier if I’m not surrounded by clutter and mess. 

I have high standards for myself and what I achieve. I don’t think that it’s a bad thing to strive for excellence so I don’t want to lose that, but I need to find some way to balance it out with accepting that I can’t do it all.

I guess it’s all part of the steep learning curve that comes with being a parent and I expect it’ll be a long time before I work out what on earth I am doing!

How do you get the balance of work, relationships, kids and hobbies right?

P.S If you want to read a post about seeing blessings despite pain, read this post. It's more eloquent than I would be at the moment!

5 comments:

  1. I am feeling the same at the moment - it's easy to forget that this balancing act is just that, a balance - that one day of clean washing, a tidy kitchen and a baby that goes go bed at the right time does not mean it's all gone into place (I forget this often!) it's the relentlessness that gets to me sometimes - just one thing out of balance: someone gets a virus, a big project at work, a new tooth coming through or something else can tip everything else over - I think it's best just to step back and be objectively aware of what's going on rather than getting bogged down (easier said than done!) it won't always be a mess, your carpets will be in soon, order will be returned.. sigh - that's what I keep telling myself anyway!

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  2. But just think - you will soon have lovely new carpets ..... to hoover! the hardest thing I had to come to terms with is that it never stops - my empty washing basket will be half full tomorrow, the girls bedroom was tidy yesterday - 6am this morning they swopped beds! my beautifully planned week suddenly had to accomodate a marriage preperation session and then there's the 2am text which means I am planning sunday school at 8am on a Sunday morning whilst trying to get three children out of the house remotely on time!! and there are days when I have to remind myself that this was the dream and step back and enjoy the dream - walk down the road holding my daughters hands and thank God that he gave me those dreams. you may be tired , you may be grumpy but you are not a fraud and you will find what works for you! and hey it will soon be spring!!!!
    love Su

    Su

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  3. Hi Sweetheart,

    You're in my thoughts. Sending you lots of hugs and praying for you. Take each day at a time, that's all we can do. God tells us not to worry about tomorrow. So lay it down and let Him take control. Easy to say but tricky to do... but you'll get there xxx

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  4. I've been feeling like that recently too, minus the baby of course. I'm constantly trying to make the flat look (in my eyes) acceptable, but I just need to accept that there isn't enough storage for all of my rubbish! Trying to be a minimalistic person is tough when you always get distracted by beautiful colourful things.
    I've also, yet again been taking on way too much work and others problems. So hard to rest your mind when there is so much going on and all that appears are negative thoughts. But I do find that craft, baking and other random activities are the only things that make me feel relaxed.

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  5. Reach out for help and don`t forget to take care of yourself. If you need more sleep, figure out a way to get it. Don`t invite people to your house when you have a teething baby and get new carpets. Everybody has busy times and has to focus on something and reduce some other things. That`s normal. Figure out your priorities in every newe situation. :-) Good luck! :-)

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